Ever feel like you’re the worst parent ever?! Me, too. And, for that matter, so do many of the other parents I know. So, you’re in good company!
You and I aren’t really the worst parent ever. But we worry, don’t we?! I know I do. I worry that I’m not playing as much as I should with my children, not limiting their screen time enough, and not feeding them enough whole grains and vegetables. I worry that as adults they’re going to wish I had been more this or less that. And, worst of all, I worry that these short years of childhood are slipping away from me at warp speed while I’m busy working and worrying about all the things I’m worrying about.
What are you worried about?
Of course, you’ve got your own worries. Whatever they are, common themes for many of us as parents are, “will our children have what they need?” “Will they be okay?” “How are we going to work through this or that parenting challenge?” Some of this worry is a natural part of parenting; some we heap on ourselves unnecessarily because we don’t want to fail, or worse, win that dreaded “worst parent of the year” award.
What to do about worry
Worry is not always resolved over night, but with new tools, we can break through worry and build new, more hopeful ways of approaching the various stresses we deal with as parents. Here are just a few of the tools that my co-author, Dr. Gary Chapman and I talk about in our book, The DIY Guide to Building a Family That Lasts…
- Develop realistic expectations. We’re sometimes holding ourselves to impossible expectations to be perfect parents. By appropriately relaxing our expectations, we still accomplish important parenting tasks but in a calmer, more self-compassionate way.
- Set realistic goals. We as parents tend to want dramatic change in a short amount of time. Decide on what goals really matter for you and your family. Break those goals into do-able increments, and then get busy slowly and steadily working toward those goals.
- Celebrate the wins. You and your family are making progress. It’s just that you might not see it because you’re so focused on what you want to fix about your family. Focus on the progress as much and more than what you want to fix. Celebrating wins can actually help fuel the other change you’re trying to make.
Let us help you
Dr. Chapman and I are parents, too, so we know how it feels to worry about failing as a parent. However, as relationship experts, we’ve learned a lot over the years about effective parenting strategies. In our book, we say that we’re not literal “home improvement” experts like the ones on all the cool home improvement television shows, but we are “home life improvement” experts. And, so we’ve packed the DIY Family Book with many of our best strategies for helping you build the home life you’re dreaming of. Hopefully, the tools we share will help you feel less worried about being the worst parent and better equipped to be the parent you want to be.
God bless your DIY efforts!
Your DIY coach and fellow DIY’er,
PS: Please and thank you, in advance, for getting a copy of our book—The DIY Guide to Building a Family That Lasts. And, if you will, please write a review on Amazon and other book sellers’ websites. Your review goes a long way in encouraging others to buy the book. Also, look for us on social media at #DIYFamilyBook. Thanks again!!
PSS: I really appreciate you making time to read my Hope to Build On blog! If you’ve not joined my email list, I’d love for you to join. I don’t send out a lot of emails, and I absolutely never will share your email address with anyone else. So, join, ok!
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